I'm about to go to bed, forcing myself to sleep. The first image I have when I open my eyes is of some child I have never met, a child that has been murdered in Palestine. The last thought at night is of some unknown dead Palestinian;
it is the same anguish I felt when I was 9 years old and learned about the Holocaust; the anguish of not understanding how German society could be so cruel.
I had shot down my computer and had to put it back on again to bear witness, to place here the face that came upon my mind as I set my bed;
A child that went to sleep and woke up with an explosion that you israelis conjured; her father gone; her mother gone; her sister gone; her brother gone; her cousins gone. Her home gone.
She walked to her bed as you and I and the entire world did and woke up missing family and limb; one of the israeli children pressed a button and launched a missile that changed her life in an instant.
She survived that attack and woke up without her family and missing a leg, but her spirit pushed her forward, and she made plans to become a doctor;
"to help others," she said hopefully.
Then, one of your children pushed another button and conjured another missile that found her in bed, sleeping, AT A HOSPITAL.
She didn't survive that.
And I am 58 years old, anguished and unable to understand how can the israeli society be so cruel. So vicious. So inhuman. So unjewish like.
I'm going to press the publish button and try to sleep, and her memory will be with me until I do:
The memory of her lying there in bed, crying for her family, trying to find hope for a new beginning, or as she stated,
"My life is changing now."
But to change, you need to be alive. So I will try thinking of that instead: that there might be hope for the Israelis, the Germans, the Americans, the British, and all the people tonight engaged in hurting others.
To change, you need to be alive so there might be hope for your genocidal society.
Perhaps, one of these days, you israelis will get tired of killing and hurting and raping and torturing and conjuring up ghosts in your backyard.
